Tue, 30 Apr 2024 13:48:26 -0500WeeblyTue, 04 Oct 2022 15:37:52 GMThttp://realisticexpectations.net/rex-blog-and-communications/rex-reflectionsWhen I started Realistic Expectations, PLLC, I honestly never thought it would be what it’s become or go in the directions it’s going. My biggest goal was to be able to set myself up so that I could be more present for my future kids, so that I could make my professional life suite my personal life better. Truth be told I still struggle with that balance, but as I work through my own things (yes, therapists get therapy too), I’m finding it easier and easier to remember that balance. But I digress.. Back to the practice. Early in my psychiatric social work career, I noticed a frequent trend at most of the acute care psychiatric facilities I worked at in which there was so much stigma around sexual minorities (those practicing things like BDSM, ethical non-monogamy (ENM), swingers, etc) and those identifying as gender expansive (transgender, non-binary, gender fluid, agender, etc). It broke my heart to see how these folx were treated and then it became even more difficult when it came time to finding therapists for these clients in the community that wouldn’t pathologize them. 

As my social work supervisor was encouraging me to consider finding a specialization, I read some research conducted by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, in which nearly 40% of respondents (folx identifying as a sexual minority) felt discrimination from their mental health care providers. FORTY PERCENT. Immediately, I knew I needed to take action so I began speaking at conferences to educate my peers and the community about BDSM and ENM. After a few years, my practice was booming and I was feeling overwhelmed. In 2016, a LMSW approached me about supervision and it struck me, I should hire him and teach him how to be kink/ENM aware. Within a year of that time, I’d hired 2 more supervisees (LMSW’s), 2 more LCSW’s and an administrative assistant. I wanted to make sure that we were keeping it as diverse as we could and that the entire team got to help in the decision making process of who to hire. I wanted to make sure that we only hire social workers because at the time there were little to no positions for LMSW’s in which they got to do extensive clinical work (there were bits of it with psych facilities, but the reality was many of them focused their social workers on discharge planning and less on diagnosing and treating mental health issues). I wanted to make sure that the staff we hired shared the vision of healing that I have. 

And it worked. Y’all.. IT WORKED. The team at REX is far from perfect, we’re all human, we all have our own stuff, but we’re all committed to keeping a safe place for each other and our clients. This December, Realistic Expectations PLLC will be 10 years old. We’ve graduated two LMSW’s to LCSW’s, one stayed on and the other went on to open her own practice just down the road and we’re so proud of her for that (amongst other things, she is a stellar clinician), hired and started 4 more, and now have MSW Intern students seeing clients. We now have a total of 4 LCSW’s (two of which supervise our supervisees), 5 LMSW’s, and 1.5 administrative assistants. We’ve gone from borrowing/renting space from colleagues to a 250 sq ft office, to a larger space and are now looking into even larger options to accommodate the groups and plans the team is developing. We have so many wonderful things in the works. Ten years ago me, wouldn’t believe this for a moment.. Today me can’t wait to see what we do next!

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Liz Newsom, LCSW-S
Clinical Director/Founder
Realistic Expectations, PLLC
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